Since I've Been Gone..

Since September last year

my whole life ....

completely changed

Well everyone knows about 

me being obsess with Jaki ♥

In September, I met some people over the internet

cause we ♥ Jaki, that was how we met

so we became really close

like really really close

However physically we are so far apart

different countries, different time zone

But there is just this odd one

we spent time most together

however, she is such a fragile child

She has cancer, fighting with it

and her dad died 3 years ago of a work accident

and she has low self-esteem

I just wish that I could cuddle her

and let her cry in my shoulders

however, she is a strong girl

she wants to be brave

and face her world

we had so much memories in such a short time

we went through alot

however, time changes

now we are so cold to each other

not like before

we don't chat much

we don't know each other much

and she found a new "friend"

and I admit

I'm jealous

Who ruin this relationship?

Me?

Everytime we fight,

the reason was always me doing something wrong

or saying something wrong

and true, sometimes I read back the comments I wrote

I think I went too over

but sometimes I question,

did she ever questioned herself why would I write those comments?

I told her before

I'm so jealous at literally anything

Like I want her to be mine 

not in a lover's why

OBVIOUSLY!

I just want a true best friend

but I know I can't stop people from socialising

hmm...

I thought I could ....

Then I realize

our secrets

were never secrets

our everything

wasn't ours

These few months 

we are having a cold war period

well, she's not

just me

and this few days,

I couldn't even be bother to go on the internet

cause I don't want to face reality

I have to much to face in this real world

that + the internet world

I won't be able to handle it

Since I've Been Gone....

By nothingbutpurely Pearly