Mixed Feelings...

Here are some of the feelings I'm experiencing this few days......


Gloomy/Depressed
School is getting more quiet and gloomy for me. Sometimes its good. Sometimes its alright. Sometimes i just can't be bother doing anything and trying my best to mix around. I just feel so depressed about what's been going on in the school community(bushfire incident) and a different school life I'm having without my best friends. Before, i was quite cheerful to go to school when i know my friends are waiting for me and we will have a good day but now there isn't much to look forward at school....homework maybe?

Jealous
I'm jealous because the people around me have found love. No matter what type of love it is....friends or lovers it just makes me feel uneasy to be around them. Whenever I see photos of their outing, i will start having this emotion in me telling....Why don't I have any of this love in my life? Everyone in "the gang" treat each other so full of love while i feel I'm invisible. I know it's a bit erupt to just join their group but where can i still go in this tough school community....I don't know. Everyone is talking about the debt that is on the 20/3. It is like a prom. Everyone in the gang is going and I really wanted to go. I wanted to buy myself a dress and wear high heels. I really want to find a partner to go with.....but I can't. It's just to hard for me to go....all by myself and start mingling around. I heard so much stories around....and i don't really want to get hurt. But I really wish i could attend and look as pretty as everyone else and share the fun.

Missing.....
I'm missing everything about the past, bad or good. It so hard to let go of everything and start all over. I miss my friends, my family....and maybe that someone.....I don't really feel like going into it too much, so i'll leave it there.

Tired/Exhausted
So many homework and stress on me! Everything is due the next day and don't have much time....It is even worse when m relatives are here (they're leaving the day after.....) I have been off school for 3 days and I have to catch up so badly. I think I drop a grade in some of my subjects. It's a bit to hard to cope...but i'll try my best, hopefully.

Ok, i guess i should start at the good feelings.....May I? I hope i do have some......

Obssesed
OMG! I'm now so obsses on the "Twilight" series. I love it! I can't believe i only start reading it recently since it was first published in 2005! Ok, to clarify, i still haven't watch the movie so i'm not like those people who watch the movie and read the books later. I prefer reading the books and then watch the movie. But i heard from my friends saying the movie is shit because the director knew that alot of people will come and watch and stuff...so they made it quite "simple". I guess i should watch and see. Loving Edward and Bella!

Joy/Happy
I'm happy because my favourite show is back again. I won't mention the name but it is the best show ever to me! It's funny and it soothes me down from the difficult days at school. I'm glad it's back, i cried when the season endded and said they were not coming back. But they did promise they will come back one day and they did kept their promise....I love you guys!

Ok...I don't really have much positive stuff. My life is stuff then....LoL....just kidding ^^. I have a positive mind and little positive stuff can easily win over negative thoughts. Trust me...i'm strong, sometimes......